We share the road, specifically the Florida State Parks, with Crackers. If you are unfamiliar with the term, this is a story about Crackers. First off, Florida State Parks are lovely. They are well kept, nice private sites with electric, water, picnic tables and fire rings. They are reasonably priced per night and some of our favorite spots are Florida State Parks.
In case you do not know what a Cracker is; let me explain. In the old days, before the beach was an Eastern US destination, Florida was cowboy country. Seriously. There were lots of cattle and real cowboys. There is an historical marker in Bradenton Florida that celebrates the Cracker Trail leading East for 120 miles. The Cracker of today hails back to having ancestors of the cowboys in Florida. Sort of....
That is the background; now the story.
As we snowbirds descend on Florida around the holidays, space is getting pretty slim. I book our stays, including Florida State Parks, around June before we arrive in December. Even then, sometimes it is hard to get the spot you would like. So come December, we are in competition with the local campers, especially on the weekends. I can understand they are just as taken with their state parks as we are.
Come Friday afternoons, around 4:30PM you can hear them coming. How do you hear a Cracker? Well it is a deep rumbling sound of diesel power. You can hear it a mile away...I swear. The diesel is attached to the biggest, baddest pick up trucks on the market. I'm talking 3/4Ton, dual axel, double cab with tires as tall as a 4 year old. This truck will be towing a 35Foot trailer with garage on the rear and that will be towing a 12foot bass boat with 2-8 bicycles and fishing polls slashed to the seats.
Yes, the Cracker has arrived with his (have not read about a "her" Cracker) brood for a weekend of leisure. They will surely pick the vacant site next to ours, every time. I give them credit, they are excellent "backers". Getting three vehicles backed into a spot is between a military maneuver and the circus has come to town. As the diesel grinds it last breath, 2-4 semi- related adults jump out the front seat while 2-6 semi-related young/uns jump out of the back cab seat. Then 2-4 possibly not related furry dogs leap to freedom from the truck bed. All of the boots have not reached the ground as the 4 exterior speakers come to life on the trailer with Nashville Country music for all to enjoy.
Camp must be set up. That begins with the boat unhitched and stashed, then the "garage" on the trailer flies open as a small 4wheel ATV and two dirt bikes alight. Followed closely by gear. Lots of gear. Gear will be a theme : Gators (University of Florida) or camo. I prefer Gator. That would be a tent cover for the picnic table, 12-14 miscellaneous camp chairs of all sizes, at least 6 various sized and colored coolers, chock full of cold Budweisers for adults and pop or soda for the kiddies. The garage then becomes a deck for more merrymaking. Finally, but not unimportant, out comes a bar-b-que and a small smoker. Crackers eat meat, no vegans or worry about gluten here.
Everywhere in this eastern US are signs for not carrying firewood from place to place. Dutch Elm disease is rampant and it gets spread from moving firewood. Not so, evidently, by Crackers, as armloads of firewood are hauled out of the truck bed. I will never know how they get fires to have 10 foot flames out of a 3 foot diameter fire ring.... just practice, I guess.
I know what isn't coming out of the trailer. Inside lurks a chest of firearms, fire works and firecrackers. This is a "carry" state and by no means do you want to have a "conflict" with a Cracker. No sir. Mind your business, don't talk politics or religion, as the outcome may be detrimental to your health.
Not that we get off to a bad start. A tip of a brew, a tip of a baseball cap (Gator or Camo) and you have made eye contact. That is about as far as it goes. We are of the snowbird variety and get together with wine and cheese...Crackers are into roasted or smoked beast with 3 other families who join them in the park on different sites. Sometimes "quiet hour" in the park gets pushed out a little in our neighbors camp, but it's really easy to beat them to the washrooms in the early dawn.
We know Sunday afternoon they will return to their homes and resume educating and raising their kids and going to work. It may not be a lifestyle of choice for us, however, they all seem to have a heck of a good time on the weekends. :)
Footnote:
This is a story I have written for your enjoyment... we know we don't characterize groups of people with generalizations. This is a parody for entertainment. Nothing more.
I have included below information about Crackers of Florida from Wikipedia. Interesting and fun reading about history of Florida.
Cracker Trail
By the 1760s the English, both at home and in the American colonies, applied the term “cracker” to Scots-Irish and English American settlers of the remote southern back country, as noted in a letter to the Earl of Dartmouth: "I should explain to your Lordship what is meant by Crackers; a name they have got from being great boasters; they are a lawless set of rascals on the frontiers of Virginia, Maryland, the Carolinas, and Georgia, who often change their places of abode."[citation needed] The word was later associated with the cowboys of Georgia and Florida, many of them descendants of those early frontiersmen who had migrated South. Also used by Florida cowboys.
Among some Floridians, the term is used as a proud or jocular self-description. Since the huge influx of new residents into Florida in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, from the northern parts of the United States and from Mexico and Latin America, the term "Florida Cracker" is used informally by some Floridians to indicate that their families have lived in the state for many generations. It is considered a source of pride to be descended from "frontier people who did not just live but flourished in a time before air conditioning, mosquito repellent, and screens."[3][4]
The Florida Cracker Trail runs from just east of Bradenton, and ends in Fort Pierce, a total distance of approximately 120 miles (190 km).
In years past, this route was used for both cattle and horses. Today it includes parts of State Road 66, State Road 64, and U.S. Highway 98.
On November 20, 2000, the Florida Cracker Trail was selected as a Community Millennium Trail. The Millennium Trails is a partnership among the White House Millennium Council, the Department of Transportation, Rails-to-Trails Conservancy, the National Endowment for the Arts and other public agencies and private organizations. The goal of Millennium Trails is the creation of a nationwide network of trails that protect natural environment, interpret history and culture, and enhance alternative transportation, recreation and tourism.
An annual Cracker Trail ride is now held the last full week in February of each year. The ride begins at a site just east of Bradenton, Florida, and ends with a parade through downtown Ft. Pierce, Florida, a total of approximately 120 miles (190 km). Each day's ride is approximately 15 to 20 miles in length. The purpose of the ride is to draw attention to Florida's horse and cattle heritage.
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